The Differences In The Way We See Things
What are the differences that cause us to view the world in the way we do? It’s one of the big hairy questions I can’t help but ponder each day.
I think it ultimately boils down to our values, as they (along with other things) create the lens in which we view the world.
Ie. I most often observe the typical ‘activist’ who finds themselves speaking up against something or standing up against something else, makes me wonder if they’re happy with who they are, and whether or not they’d be spending their precious time ‘fighting against’ something, if they actually had something they could internally fight for, that was actively expanding their identities via contribution and addition.
Ie. the difference between two 18 year old students who spend their time focused on improving themselves and therefore everyone and everything around them, vs. the person who just focuses on changing the things around them.
One is inward focused and the other is outward focused.
One has control and the other doesn’t.
I have a friend who is perceived to be a great person and kind and smart, wise and educated. Yet they constantly highlight things that don’t fulfill them or make them happy.
While he goes out to protest each and every chance he gets, and shares his voice on a lot of issues, he’s been unemployed or under employed for the last 15 years to the point his family is worried about him. He’s also been a financial strain on them, because his parents have subsidized housing and money throughout this time.
If you ask my friend if he’s happy with his life, he’d likely tell you yes. Yet, his entitled attitude has left him single in his 40’s with relationships at work and potential partners that are always in strain. Instead of putting his head down and working, he’s always politicking and fighting with people.
It’s this mindset that I don’t think is productive.
My main problem with generally a voice against something in any form, be it as a protest, war, or anything else that is action and energy being put against something, to fight it, it often adds oxygen and fuels the fire of the very thing it’s intended to fight.
It’s not additive, it’s resistant…As Eckhart Tolle said:
“What we resist persists…what we fight we make stronger.
It’s why Hillary Clinton lost in 2016 and Donald Trump won. She wasn’t inspiring enough with the vision of her future, and instead focused on fighting the vision of his future.
It’s why Mother Theresa said:
“I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”
Half the world would probably agree with that sentiment, while the other half would consider it backward which is what constantly makes me wonder.
But it’s why:
The quest to find answers, gives meaning to our existence.
Let me know thoughts and thank you.
The Boring Ones Are The Most Voracious
I think the boring ones are the most voracious and interesting.
The dad who seems to do nothing but work.
The bookkeeper mom who races home to her kids.
Why? Because it’s often the quiet ones who have the loudest minds.
And it’s the people with the loudest minds who often work the hardest to quiet them, and this inner journey creates epic characters.
Therefore succeeding in that is more than enough, and they become content with living simple lives, even though inside, that’s the last thing they’re doing.
A guy at my office looks like the most boring guy you’ve ever seen. Over sized khaki pants and turtle neck each day, wearing the equivalent of high-tek boots. Probably 55, family man, drives a Subaru and likely goes on hikes for the weekend.
This guy is always there when I arrive and always there when I leave, like ALWAYS. He’s a MACHINE, yet he’s so quiet and looks so boring it’s laughable. A real ned flanders type.
However I can tell he’s voracious and calmly just building something. He’s obsessed with his craft and mastered his mind.
He wants to become the best at what he does, which may not be to be the best in the world, but his own definition of best.
He is content and happy with who he is and where he’s at.
It reminds me of why Stefan Sagmeister said:
It makes me think of the stereotypical tough guys on the subway who think they’re tough and give shit to the ‘boring’ ones who are on their way to their offices.
However they’ve got it all wrong. They think their tough for taking the short cut, try waking up at 5 and putting a tie on five days a week then tell me how tough you are.
Good habits are harder than being a tough guy, and btw, I wouldn’t be surprised if half these people in dresses and ties aren’t profiecient at Brazlian juijitsu.
Be voracious. Stay obsessed. Thanks for the inspiration @zachpogrob
4 Things Every Person Should Do To Live A Long And Successful Life
The average life expectancy gives you about 4,056 weeks to live.
If you’re 20, you’ve lived 1040 weeks.
If you’re 30, you’ve lived 1560 weeks.
If you’re 40, you’ve lived 2080 weeks.
How many weeks do you have left?
What can you do to ensure you get the most from the weeks you have left?
I’ve relentlessly been on a journey to stay aware and do all I can to get the most of the weeks I have left.
Perhaps I’m scared of dying more than others.
Perhaps it’s because I hang around with millennials who do things like stage their funerals so they — along with their friends and family know what it would feel like if they died.
The smartest 23 year old I know did just that.
Whatever it is, it’s been one of my torments, and I imagine, the torments for a lot of my generation.
The seven day framework that makes up our week is important to note because we make choices based on what day it is, choices which determine what we do with our limited time — the most finite and precious resource we have.
I’ve optimized the seven day framework for the following pillars of living well. As in, I’ve found if I do these four things, the list of things below will naturally happen.
Relationships and community are cultivated (the most important pillar of long term happiness according to this 75 year Harvard study)
Meaningful work that intrinsically drives you toward goals
Health and longevity
Self-care and leisure
General keystone habits to be productive and useful to your community and society
Energy and state of mind
So how do we get the most from our seven day weeks, so we can get the most from the the weeks we have left?
From waking up at 4:30am for months at a time to keeping an 18 month ketogenic diet without cheating once, here are the 4 keystone routines and rituals I’ve found that lead to a high performing week, backed by a ton of the research that has inspired me.
1. Take A Four Day Work Week Or Imagine and Plan For It As Much As You Can
“I think in the next 30 years, people only work four hours a day and maybe four days a week. My grandfather worked 16 hours a day in the farmland and [thought he was] very busy. We work eight hours, five days a week and think we are very busy.” –Jack Ma, CEO of Alibaba
As technology get’s better, the more we’ll use our minds to do work. The more we use our minds for work, the more we need to rest and recover.
Research has shown we can’t really do concentrated deep work for more than 3–5 hours a day.
I obviously won’t suggest to people who have to work five days a week to stop going into work, but what I will say (and you likely do this a little anyway) is to put your imagination to work and plan and use the relaxed air of Friday to your advantage whenever possible.
As legendary author of Psycho-cybernetics, which has sold over 30 million copies, Dr. Maxwell Maltz, says about imagination and our minds:
“Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a ‘real’ experience. In either case, it reacts automatically to information which you give to it from your forebrain. Your nervous system reacts appropriately to what you THINK or IMAGINE to be ‘true.’
Besides, we already know how checked out we can be on Friday as it is.
Try to do it as often as possible.
2. Wake Up Uncomfortably Early, But Only on Tues, Wed and Thursday
“The difference between rising at five and seven o’clock in the morning, for forty years, supposing a man to go to bed at the same hour at night, is nearly equivalent to the addition of ten years to a man’s life.” — Philip Doddridge
Not only do we feel better and get more done, we do so as the best version of ourselves.
We want to get ahead and play offense on the most critical work days, but want ample rest and recovery on fulfillment days like Friday and Monday where we can catch up and/or maintain.
Plus, sleep balance is a must given waking up at 4:30, 5:00 or 6:00am comes with a sleep price if you’re not in bed by 8:30–9:30pm and used to a day and week that runs on standard hours.
In this Harvard study, Biologist Christoph Randler concluded that in the corporate 9–5 work context, people who wake up earlier spend more time identifying long range goals for themselves and feel like they have more control in making things happen.
To get the most from your week, getting ahead of the three core work days pushes you forward and that that begins by waking up early.
Why only three days? I’ve noticed waking up at an uncomfortably early hour where you may not get all seven to nine hours can (and should) only be done three days in a row assuming you socialize toward the end of the week (I go out Thursdays and Saturdays).
Therefore, I’ve concluded it’s the right balance for the seven day framework that makes up our week.
Monday’s are transition, planning and maintenance, don’t resist it. It will just lead to overwhelm and frustration.
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are offense for your most important work thus the early mornings.
Catch up and sleep in Fridays, as they’re for closing loops and fulfilling work from the previous three days.
3. Schedule Your Deep Work In Your Calendar Tuesday, Wednesday And Thursday
“Effectiveness is doing the right thing, efficiency is doing things right.” Legendary management consultant Peter Drucker
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are offense and you want to be both effective and efficient.
To be effective, pick the top 3 activities (often your hardest ones) in order of importance, and know you’ll work on one of them using the bulk of your energy. Try to go as hard and long as you can without stopping. It’s often in the final hours of peak momentum where greatness happens and we hit a different gear that leads to breakthrough work.
For example, Mondays I maintain customers and employees. Tuesdays, I write articles. Wednesday’s I develop my products and Thursdays I do outbound business development.
Keeping in mind I’m essentially a ‘solopreneur’ at the moment. If you’re in a corporate job, you want to innovate for both your mind’s development and providing value to your company so deep work is a must to push that needle forward — your boss will appreciate it.
If you’re an entrepreneur, or artist, it’s an absolute must. As Dr. Jack Matson said, you must “innovate or die”.
This is true and doing deep work will instill this principal within you.
Picking one big thing to work on each day in deep work for 2–4 hours or more will lead to both effective output and the innovation required to succeed in your work over time.
4. Skip Breakfast And Eat In An 8 Hour Window Monday Through Thursday
“Everyone can perform magic, everyone can reach his goals, if
he is able to think, if he is able to wait, if he is able to fast.” — Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
According to Dr. Eric Berg, the leading source on intermittent fasting and the ketogenic diet on YouTube (1.3 million followers), we burn fat while we’re in a fasted state, and when we wake up, we’re in a fasted state from sleeping for the last 8 or so hours.
When you skip breakfast, and only eat in an 8 hour feeding window, you feel sharp mentally and physically.
Your fasted state has your energy not being consumed by digestion, and allows your energy to go straight to the mind.
When it comes to the work day, a fasted state keeps you sharp and it makes sense. When we were hunter gatherers, we’d be starving (essentially fasting but less extreme when proactively practiced) while we hunted for food to survive. Naturally, our energy went straight to our minds so we could focus on the hunt.
In that state, you’ll feel sharp.
In the free documentary on Amazon Prime called the Science of Fasting, doctors proved that fasting makes the body resilient.
One way this happens is through a process called ‘autophagy’ — where your white blood cells essentially eat themselves during the fasting phase.
The weak cells die out, and when you re-feed, the strong cells that survived are what are left left. If you fast for longer periods of time, you’ll actually recreate brand new white blood cells!
Fasting feels good and allows your body the room to breathe which has now proven to have massive longevity benefits.
If you were to intermittent fast Monday through Thursday by eating within a 6–8 hour feeding window, your week would be one that lengthens your life, a great system to get more weeks out of the finite weeks we have left.
Conclusion
“The trouble is, you think you have time.” — Jack Kornfield
If you’re 20, you have about 3,000 weeks left.
If you’re 30, you have about 2,500 weeks left
If you’re 40, about 2,000.
If you practice these four things, your work and life will be balanced.
If you practice these four things, your work and life will be healthy.
If you practice these four things, your life will be longer and more joyful, and that is the key to a long and successful life — a peak state of energy that get’s as much as it can from as many moments as possible.
What are you going to do with the weeks you have left?
How To Make A Life Decision
“We finally decided to get a dog!” I excitedly proclaimed to my extended family in our WhatsApp group chat as I sent across Troy’s photo.
Troy Taghavi
We had been contemplating a dog for several months, taken several trips to the pet shop and researched different breeders.
We’d been bringing the dog up for a while now, sending photos we’d looked at and indecisively making soft commitments while not following through.
The family was likely even getting a bit perturbed about our indecision.So I wasn’t surprised when my uncle replied with:
“What made you finally decide to go through with it?”
I said:
“After contemplating the decision for a while, we finally realized the amount of joy it will add to our lives made the ‘work’ involved a no-brainer.The hardest things in life tend to bring the most joy and meaning, and a dog is certainly one of those things.”
My kind but concerned uncle responded with:
“It’s going to be a lot of work, and it’s going to impact your work and travel lives which I know mean a lot to you. Congratulations nonetheless!”
Later that day, I got on the phone with my cousin who just said the family had gotten into a big fight over their own internal discussion about buying a dog.
The kids want one, the mom is on the fence and the dad disapproves because its “too much work”.
My cousin told me:
“Yea my dad just thinks it’s too much work.”
I responded with conviction:
“That’s bs. Of all people, your dad never lets hard work get in the way of getting what he wants.”
“Besides being a super performer at work, he personally manages the family’s chalet most weekends, is an avid Harley Davidson rider who goes on 30 day rides across India and just bought a boat – all things he manages himself!”
It’s not his work, it’s his worldview that’s the problem. He just thinks a dog isn’t worth having, which is fair, but don’t give me that nonsense about it being too much work.
I re-explained our thought process for the decision, sharing that we realized just how much we’re actually missing out on each day we’re void of the presence of a high-vibration life force that offers so many benefits.
Mind you, we certainly don’t take the practical matters of getting a dog for granted.
If we didn’t have the inner mental stability, financial stability and ability to invest the time adequately to be great owners, we wouldn’t have moved forward.
However if those boxes were checked, it just meant a commitment to put in the work.
I finalized to my cousin:
"It’s about what you choose to focus on, and your dad is simply choosing to focus on the hard things because he doesn’t want the dog. But most importantly, don’t be afraid of putting in the work to get what you want."
If it’s not hard, it’s often not worth doing.
Chasing the hard way is a winning strategy to growth and development in most any context, and this is certainly applicable to large life decisions of the heart.
Follow yours and don’t let the work involved not get you what you want.